… freedom is the only condition for happiness.  If, in our heart, we cling to anything … anger, anxiety, or possessions – we cannot be free.

Thich Nhat Hanh, in The Heart of Buddha’s Teaching

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Anger is a sure way to avoid happiness, a contented life.  Yes, we are often treated poorly, dismissed, hurt by others and yes, that does make a person angry.  Such anger is healthy, just as some anxiety when faced with the unknown, or uncertainty is healthy, normal and can be expected and accepted.

However, why carry anger forever?  Why let another dominate our life with their anger-producing behavior.  Once you know X or Y will hurt you, insult you, demean you, etc., they have established their value – their worthlessness.

Why let them hand you their malevolence in the form of anger that you then carry interminably – forever?  That only imprisons you – they are not thinking of you as often as you are thinking of them.

Anger carried forward is a win for the person who angers you.

You want to hurt them?  Dismiss them?  Then, drop them like a bad habit. Disregard them, discount them, forget them – they are worthless to you and these hurtful people rarely change.

The best thing to do with anger?  Feel it when it appears, express it to others and then be gone with it.

Anger held is a toxic acid – it burns its human container – and in that it is a victory for the one who authored it and aimed it at you.

If you want to respond, simply and calmly tell them that you know their game and that they are mistaken if they think they can hurt you since you realize they are powerless and small, and because of their conduct, also worthless, without value – a nonentity.

Be smart.  Don’t give victory to the aggressor.  Drop them and the anger and live happily.

Those, by the way, who consistently hurt us really get upset when we are happy and they can no longer provoke us to anger.  You see people who consistently anger us really lose when the realize their conduct is no longer effective and as to you, they no longer exist.

Drop anger.  Joy is so much better.

By the way, the subtitle of Hanh’s book is this: Transferring Suffering into Joy and Liberation.

Freedom and joy are far preferable to carrying anger.  The former liberate us, the latter only imprisons us.

Shalom.

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